I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I cockslap morals
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
