She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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