So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Farmville is her only friend.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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