Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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