Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Is Oprah even human
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
