Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
