this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
