Don't you send me to vm
i already hear my dad disowning me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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