Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
