Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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