i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
