Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
