we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
