heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My vagina just clenched in fear
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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