Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
