Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
