honey bunches of taint.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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