and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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