Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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