I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
