Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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