Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
