I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize