do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
