butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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