Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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