You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
