My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i out mim tonsoeep
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