I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
