You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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