so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize