spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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