he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
