I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
