Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
