smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think your dad took our porno
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize