What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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