TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
