I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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