No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
