Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize