Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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