I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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