he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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