I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
