He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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