filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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