I bet he comes in French.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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