no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
