I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
