you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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