What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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