who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
