the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This house was built for laser tag.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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