also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
