while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize