I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
