Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
