Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
