i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize