another moral hangover. fuck.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
