I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She made me pour olive oil on her.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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