I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
