I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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