I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
