based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
